A- Arithmetic. I hate math. I still have nightmares about grade 12 math class and walking out of my first and last finite class in OAC. No, not for me thank you. I love words. Words rock and so do pictures and pop up books.
B- Bats. They are total cottage weekend wreckers. I mean if they wanted to be invited inside why didn’t they just ask rather than swarming over our heads. Can I add another thing I’m not thankful for to B. Yah I can because this is my blog.
Banchees. Why? b/c I’m sick of people saying, “You were running around like a banchee last night.” First things first. What the shite is a banchee? Do these things actually exist or are they mythical creatures made solely for our own annoying sayings.
C- Chuck Norris. Why? Because his career may be dead but those stupid email forwards/jokes about him linger on. Seriously, it doesn’t make you cool if you know that the boogy man checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to sleep. Wow I’m lame for even reciting that.
D- Dumbo the elephant. I think his name says it all. Walt Disney must have had an off day on this one. Has anyone even seen this Disney movie? I can’t remember if I have but for some reason I think it just involves a really lame “poor me” elephant with big ears.
Egg shells- Don’t you hate it when you’re omlette goes all wrong with one simple egg cracking mishap. Those shells are a pain in the arse to get out. I mean what’s worse… eating a tiny egg shell piece with your eggs or getting samonella trying to pick those suckers out? Walking on them can also be bothersome. Of course I mean that figuratively not literally, you know.. with those uber sensative people you come across in your day to day life. Ba dum ching!
F- Falling. ‘Nuff said. Falling is a bummer. I mostly mean accidentally falling up or down the stairs. You usually try to laugh and pretend you meant to do that but you know everyone around you is laughing at your expense while thinking man I’m glad that wasn’t me.
G- Gargamal- Gargamal was that pain in the arse that used to pick on all the Smurfs with his cat friend. How could you pick on those little blue bundles of joy? All they did was sing and build cool stuff. They’re welcome at my place any day. I think he was just jealous because he was a behemeth and his only friend was a cat.
and I have another one I just thought of.
Grey’s Anatomy- Doctor drama. As if. I’m sure you have time to “do it” at work in between open heart surgeries. Spare me McDreamy. Go back to being a little nerdbomber in my favourite 80’s flicks (aka Can’t Buy me Love) because that’s what you’re good at.
H-Hell’s Kitchen. Stop your whining and make my dinner you angry s.o.b of a chef and stop yelling at your employees. Somebody should call HR on this one because they’re dropping like flies.
I- It. You know that scary clown movie that Stephen King made. You’d think the Ninja turtles would be pissed that a man dressed as a clown was taking over their territory in the sewer.
J-June Bugs. If you’re going to be little jerks making noise why don’t you show your face the whole year rather than just picking one month.
K-Kit Kats- Give me a break and stop taunting me.
L-Lettuce. You’re so boring on your own. Get a personality.
M- Mud. You shoe wrecker you!
N- Nicampoops- Haha I just thought I’d throw this one in there. Can you believe that’s what our grandparents used to call eachother. It’s such an old school way of belittling someone. And furthermore, I dislike nicampoops.
O- Orphans. I just feel bad for them. Somebody get them a home. I’m being serious here.
P- Popped collars. Jameson this one’s for you. Just because you got two golf shirts for the price of one at Hollister on sale it doesn’t mean you have to flaunt them by popping both of your collars.
Q- Quaid…Dennis Quaid. So I cheated on this one but has the guy ever done a single decent movie yet the poor man’s Kevin Costner continues to get lead rolls. Editors note: The Day After Tomorrow is however, a great Dennis Quaid movie to make fun of…despite the fact that it does touch upon the fact that we have royally screwed ourselves in the global warming department.
R- Riddles. Just tell me the answer already.
S- Staring. Am I wearing something of yours?
T- Tight rope walkers. You’re telling me you couldn’t think of anything better to do than walk across a thin line in front of a room full of strangers. You’re mom must have been maaaaad at you when you ran away from home to do this. Stay in school kiddies.
U- U-haul trucks. Need I say more? I haul.. no thank you. You go ahead and haul for me because I’m too lazy.
Vampire attacks (for Charles)- you really don’t see them coming. Things really escalate fast.
W- Where’s Waldo- Uggggh for the last time I don’t care where that nerd with no sense of style is.
X-Xhibit- No I do not want my ride pimped. Maybe you should focus more on your rapping career. Yes the letter X is great and it’s in your name. We get it already.
Y-Yanni. This moron rivals Kenny G for worst music you’re sure to hear at the dentist. If you aren’t sure who he is. Good for you. Keep it that way.
Z- I don’t even think I need one for Z. The answer is…Z. Simply because it may be worth a lot in Scrabble but good luck putting a word together with that one. You always think you’re so cool when you have Z but really you just end up with it the whole time and have to subtract it from your score.
Thanks kiddies. That idea came from www.raymitheminx.com aka my new favourite blog. Make your own list. It’s fun.
